Time (What I've Learned 4)

Time flies when you're having fun.

Well, at least that's how the old saying always goes. I'm not so sure of it's validity.

Yes, I do agree that time flies. I think think everyone can attest to that fact. But I think that is where the saying should probably end.

This semester has been filled with fun and great memories that I'll cherish for years to come. However, not all of it has been fun. There have been hard nights and panic-driven moments (mostly school related). As I've grown older (I realize that I am not "old." Don't get argumentative just yet!), I've seen the hours and days start to slip away, even if I'm just letting my brain turn to mush on my couch.

I've watched videos on how time passes. As we grow older, each year, month, and day is a smaller fraction of our lives. So, for example, one year when you are two is half of your life as opposed to when you're twenty and it's one-twentieth of your life. One year suddenly seems insignificant when it's one-fiftieth of your life.

So this really seems to support the feeling of time going faster as we age. It's not so much the fun (although there are arguments on both sides as to if life gets funner - yes, now "funner" is actually a word - as we age), but the lengths of time getting smaller comparatively to how much life we've lived.

It seems unfair. I'm older and I can now appreciate the time in a day more than say, a baby. Imagine what life would be like if we didn't count down days. We just counted them. What if each day was the same significance as the other? Just as important, just as precious.

We always say that each day is special, that we never know which day will be our last. But what if we actually acted on that principle? What if we refused to let time fly and make the most out of every day? Seems like a worthy goal, and not too difficult to achieve. I mean, all I have to do is have the time of my life every day!

Easier said than done. There are some days you just can't avoid: days spent studying those math formulas you know for a fact you'll never use again, days when you're sick and spend the whole time watching America's Next Top Model reruns on the couch.

Time does fly, but it's not realistic to think that each day is going to be a thrilling adventure worthy of last-day status. I know. I've had to sit through enough geology lectures to realize not every day is going to be the epitome of high living.

I've had to realize this semester that it's not the amount of life lived, but the way in which you lived it. I'm not going to drop out of college to climb Everest any time soon (but the closer I get to exams, the easier Everest seems... I mean, it's just a big hill, right?), but I will try to make each day worth it. One little moment that I can cherish. This semester, I've had to learn that maybe my life is not going to be the thing that biopics are made of, but dreams are still worth pursuing. I may not be famous or the "best" at whatever I do. I've come to terms that I'll be happy with a job in which I can make a difference in my community and in the lives of the ones I love.

Time flies, and dud days do happen,  but that doesn't mean there isn't something special in each day.

Thank you for a wonderful semester, Dr. Williams, and I hope you enjoy my life-musings!

It's the Little Things (What I've Learned 3)

I've always known that the best things come in small packages (hello, jewelry!). But this year has really shown me that it's the little things and moments that make life special and worthwhile.

It may be the Christmas spirit starting to prematurely permeate the campus, but little moments with my friends have been the real key to my happiness this semester. In the midst of crazy life decisions and tests, time with my friends has become so important to me.

My friend brought me and my roommates cookies after a tough week for all of us. We sat, talked, and just vented in an environment of support and love. We then went to a formal, just us girls, and danced the night away. We didn't worry about impending finals (yikes), and just enjoyed ourselves.

I've been realizing lately that my joy and my happiness is directly correlated to the things that I have or what is going on in my life; it's the experiences with loved ones that are truly important.

Last night was a true example of this: my friends and I went downtown to watch the downtown Christmas tree lighting. It was completely free (and freezing), but all that mattered was that we were together. We made such great memories just living that moment together.

In the hubbub of the season, it's hard to keep my eyes on what really matters. But it's moments like eating cookies and dancing with friends that put in all in perspective. The best things in life really do come for free!

"I'm the Luckiest International Student" (Conversation Partner 6)

Well, here it is. The last conversation partner meeting for Lit and Civ II. I have to say that I was a little sad coming to meet Harrison at the usual couch arrangement in Union Grounds.

This was one of the few times I came early to the meeting. Usually I'm running in at the last minute, spewing apologies before we get to talking. But this time I came early and ordered a hot chocolate to fend off the cold in my fingers. I sat on the couch and thought about the time Harrison and I had spent together this semester.

We've seen each other at snapshots in our lives, catching up between big games, tests, and college shenanigans. Through those snapshots, it's been so satisfying to see Harrison grow more confident throughout the semester.

As Harrison came up to meet me (right on time), he started the conversation right off the bat. His confidence and use of the English language is so improved from the first time we met (and he had to bring his roommate to translate).

We began with typical small talk, addressing the freezing cold weather and Thanksgiving plans. As the conversation went on, we reflected on the semester and how we were glad that we had been paired up.

He then started to tell me about how he had made so many friends here at TCU. He told me that he sees the other international students eating by themselves, but he feels like he can go to the BLUU without fearing sitting alone because he knows he can find someone.

He's gotten so well-adjusted to his new home here in Texas. He feels like he's found his place; he's adjusted to college and the American experience. He feels like he's the luckiest international student here at TCU.

I'm so happy for Harrison, and I've learned so much from him this semester: to be thankful for my friendships and to appreciate the little things in life.

In the light of our last meeting and the time of the year, I'm so thankful for my conversation partner. This last time he told me I was like a big sister to him this semester, and that's all I can ask for.

So, thank you Harrison and I hope to talk next semester!

Tiredness is My Life (Conversation Partner 5)

So today was our next to last official meeting, and I think both Harrison and I are realizing just how close we are to the end of the semester.

We met in our usual place, Union Grounds, and started talking. We were both pretty tired. These last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind.

Through stifled yawns, we asked each other about our weeks (Harrison really began and took charge in the conversation, I'm happy to say. He's shown so much improvement in his shyness this semester!). Our conversation slowly but surely turned to our sleep schedules.

There is one thing you should know about me: I love sleep. I always make sure to get enough hours of sleep and I nap to make sure I'm awake if I'm doing something that will be taking place at night. I watch videos about the benefits of sleep and constantly lecture my friends on their sleep patterns. So one can only imagine my horror when Harrison stated, "tiredness is my life."

I quickly responded with questions as to when he went to bed and how he spent his day. He responded with going to bed around 3 am, followed by a regimen of class, gaming, homework, and naps. He then went on to explain that he wasn't sure what to do with all of his free time.

He has so much free time because he's used to the Chinese academic schedule of school for half the day, then homework for the rest of that half. He's so used to not getting any sleep due to having so much schoolwork (even during holidays... gasp!), that the rest of his time is a question mark. Hence, the late hours up gaming and trying to fill in space previously filled with work.

I knew that Chinese students had a vigorous school schedule, but it's just so crazy to hear it from someone who has actually lived it. Now I know why he always laughs when I ask him if he's had a busy week... American college is nothing!

I'm not saying that we need to change our system to the rigorous Chinese one, but it really does make one look at the time that we do have. We have so much time to do something wonderful, why not do it? I'm so thankful for Harrison and his great perspective!

But really, the kid needs to get some sleep.

Teamwork and Housing (What I've Learned 2)

Wow, it's hard to believe that it's the middle of November!

I have experienced so much this semester and grown so much as an individual. I think that one of the greatest lessons I've learned so far is teamwork.

Yeah, yeah. That stuff that you had to work on in Kindergarten? Sharing toys and playing nice with others? Yes, that's what I've grown so much in these past couple of weeks. I'm a very individualistic person, and learning to give up what I want, and having to take responsibility for work done as a group and not singularly has been a particular challenge for me.

This most recently applies to my and my roommates' search for a house for next semester. I know, it's completely, entirely too early to be looking for a house for the fall of 2014. But, apparently here at TCU booking a year in advance is the only way to get a decent place to live with the people you want to live with. What is this, Fiji?

However, ridiculousness aside, my friends and I (totaling a group of 5) sought out the perfect house to live in for our Junior year. My one friend did most of the grunt work of searching sites and setting up showings. God bless her.

We found some good options, but in the end it was down to two. One house and one duplex. And the emotions came out. Now, to preface this, we are all still friends and we all still love each other. We are all still living together, but two factions emerged. There were fervent pleas for one location and the other. And I had to overcome the emotions I felt for one house and think about the logic of the situation. I had to think about what was right for the group, not just me.

We decided on a house, and it was a compromise for all five of us to make a decision and still get along. I guess I finally learned how to play nice with others. All it took was a compromise with my best friends to really help me see what was important in the trade-off.

"What About You?" (Conversation Partner 4)

I met up with Harrison for the fourth time yesterday. Time has flown by! We started to talk about football right off the bat (logically).  It's so great to see Harrison get fired up about something as American as football! We discussed our mutual grief over the team's performance, with Harrison mentioning that he was appalled at their performance in the second half (weren't we all?).

When I came up to talk, he was reading a book about birth order and how it defines a person's personality. I asked him if he was reading it for class or pleasure. He said, "Class first, me second." I thought this was a funny way of answering. Usually the two are never thought to be compatible. You either hate the book because your teacher made you read it or you love it because you chose it. (Yes, this is an exaggeration. I was one of those kids who enjoyed many of my assigned readings.) This little bit of wisdom in his turn of phrase was just wonderful and incredibly insightful.

Harrison went on to tell me about his interest in psychology, and how he believes that it can be applied to life in general. I definitely agree. I recommended that he take a psychology class sometime to fuel his curiosity.

But then came the more interesting part of the conversation.

Usually, I ask the questions in our conversations. This allows Harrison to speak and really practice speaking. Also, I think my journalism training instills within me the innate desire to be the one asking the questions, not answering them. Yes, I contribute to the conversation, but I usually try to make the focus of our talks on what Harrison says.

Then he asked me, "What about you?" after we had talked about school and how our weeks were going. Harrison asks me clarification questions all the time, but this was the first time I that I can think of he asked me a personal question.

It caught me off guard (We journalism majors like to be the ones steering the conversation. All deviations result in the fight or flight complex settling in. Since I neither wanted to fight Harrison nor abruptly leave the conversation, I swallowed the impulse and answered the question.) I talked about me. I talked about how I was feeling and how my week was. And Harrison listened excellently. It was an interesting change of pace.

After this conversation, I no longer feel the need to keep asking questions to solicit an answer and fill time up with talking. Harrison and I can have an actual conversation, complete with two active participants, instead of an interviewer and an interviewee.

It's new and a little scary, but it's real.

Football, Halloween, and the Tooth Fairy (Conversation Partner 3)

My third meeting with Harrison was an educational experience for both of us.

After the craziness of a short week following Fall Break, it was good to get back in the swing of things with a meeting with Harrison. This time he didn't bring his roommate! I was so excited to see how bold he's getting in conversation. A far cry from the shy guy who needed to go through his roommate to talk to me at the beginning of the semester.

Harrison is also getting so much more animated in his conversations! He's so confident; he told me today that he has "a pretty good grip" on American culture. I believe him.

Of course, the conversation opened with yesterdays football game. He had gone to the first half (before the torrential downpour) and headed to the BLUU to eat once conditions got bad. But once he saw the rain and overheard the score of 30-7, he decided to call it a night. A smart decision in my book.

Harrison told me about how last night's rain was similar to the rain in his hometown in central China.

"It's always hard rain!"

We talked about how the weather here in Texas changes so quickly and so often throughout the day.

"That never happens in China!"

As the conversation about football died down, I asked him if he was excited to Halloween.

He gave me a puzzled look, then had to think about it for a while.

"I'm not a costume guy..."

He then began to tell me that there's no Halloween in China, at least in his hometown. To try to clear up the holiday, I told him about some of my previous costumes. One of my favorites was when I dressed up as the Tooth Fairy.

Harrison gave me another quizzical look.

I then had to go about explaining the tooth fairy, "Well, you put your lost tooth under your pillow. Then a fairy takes the tooth and gives you money for it..." Yeah, it's not that easy.

I then had to tell him the hard truth that every child must hear in their lives: "But it's really your parents."

I think I might have confused him further the with explanation that with the concept in general. I tried to clear myself up a bit, but the concept was lost.

We continued to speak, but left the Tooth Fairy subject lie. Another time, perhaps.

I would say that today was a big leap for Harrison communication-wise. He is getting really confident in his speech and is using American turns of phrase more comfortably. It's amazing to see his progress. At the beginning of this process, we struggled for speech and topics. But now, we are really able to get easy conversation going right off the bat.

I really grew in my ability to explain abstract concepts like the Tooth Fairy. I just take these social references for granted, but when put on the spot for an explanation, the words were difficult to find. I think it gave me an opportunity to expand my own language and vocabulary. My conversations with Harrison don't just make him a better speaker, they make me a better listener and critical thinker.

Now who would have thought that you could learn so much from the Tooth Fairy?